2:38PM

There are some signs that it's back. I had a short battle with it last year but it was only with me for a few months. Luckily I hit rock bottom fast and got the help I needed. I had the medicine, the doctors and I started feeling back to the real me.

Now I feel it creeping back into my life. I haven't left the houses in a few days because I have been feeling so lazy which is so unlike me because usually I dig for every reason to get out of the house and around town.

Today, I woke up at 2:38PM, ate lunch and laid a blanket out in the living room with a few pillows. I sat there and I have been in the same spot since then to this very second. Mom left for church and Billy went to work so I am alone at home.

After church was over, Mom came back to change and grab a snack then she left for Grandma's house again. She asked if I wanted to come but I didn't want to go. I just wanted to be home with my laptop and cartoons.

I think my depression is coming back because of everything that has been going on with my aunts and me.

I have never had a close relationship with any of them, even when I was younger and especially as I grew older. I honest to God would not mind if they were to be out of my life from now on. There is no denying that they help but their help doesn't come cheap. The charge is far more than what the actual help is worth.

They believe that because of the help they've given my parents and I, that I now owe my life to them. No one likes the feeling of having their life tied with a leash and held by somebody else. I especially don't like it.

I hope this goes away and that I don't hit rock bottom again because digging myself out of that hole was difficult.